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Facebook ta Amerika daki süryanilerin grubundan...
You know your Assyrian when:
1. Your house never runs out of çay
2. You learn how to make galachae and dolma at the age of 5
3. The slipper (terlik) is your worst nightmare
4. Somehow you have family all over the world
5. It s a shock to your parents when you get introduced to their brothers best friends cousins sister in law and you have no clue who this person.
6. Someone in your family calls chips "chipis"
7. Your parents introduce you to random people saying that these people saw you when you were a baby.
8. Whenever there s a family gathering somehow the discussion of Iran/Iraq always pops up and then that escalates into an argument.
9. Yogurt is something that can be eaten with many things.
10. EVERYONE knows EVERYONE
11. You say the letter "H" like "etch"
12. You cook a meal that lasts three days
13. Your Father swears at you with words that effect himself
14. You own a gas station, dollar store, or a fruit market.
15. You a have a difficult Assyrian name so you come up with a American version like "Sam" "Mike" "Joe" "Wally"
16. You say Bolice for Police
17. You say "close the light" instead of "turn off the light"
18. You have an endless supply of pistachios, dates, and pumpkin seeds.
19. After a family meal, the women fight to death over who should wash the dishes while the men sit on their behinds and discuss politics, waiting for their çay.
20. You use your forehead and eyebrow(s) to point something out.
21. Your mother yells at the top of her lungs to call you to dinner even if you re in the next room.
22. You arrive two or three hours late to a party and think it s normal.
23. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone s house.
24. You say bye 17 times on the phone.
25. When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover they know one of your uncles back home..later on in the convo, you realize you re related.
26. any word in English can magically become an Assyrian word by just adding the sound "akh" at the end! (i.e. shoes-akh, room-akh, homework-akh)
27. Your grandparents and parent tell you to eat all the time.
28. You gossip about your own family...with other members of your family.
29. Your Wife/husband are some how related to your parents.
30. You teach your friends Assyrian words (mostly bad ones) and feel proud when they use them in conversations.
31. You feel proud when someone famous or a celebrity has ANY Assyrian blood in them.
32. You NEVER run out of rizza
33. Your aunt always asks you when she can dance at your wedding.
34. You re convinced that your mom would win a slipper throwing contest
35. You are awaken at night by a member of your family yelling over the phone to overseas.
36. You wont eat meat on Wednesday or Friday, but your love life has nothing to do with your religion.
37. Your middle name is your father s first name, even if you re a girl. [I HATE THIS! LOL]
38. At weddings, it takes the bride and groom 4 hours to kiss all the guests
39. One satellite dish on your roof isn t enough...you need at least two of them.
40. Your favorite food is grape leaves but you are embarrassed to tell your friends that you eat leaves for dinner.
41. You always act like you WANT to pay, but in reality you hate it.
42. You have someone tell you your fortune through your coffee cup
43. When you get visitors from overseas they live with you for 5 months
44. Your mother scolds you under her breath [in Assyrian, of course] when you don t offer guests more tea/food.
45. you know you re Assyrian when you have a name that rhymes with you sibling (ex: Bernard and Bernadette)
46. You didn t NEED subtitles to watch "Passion of the Christ"
47. Your people were one of the first to convert to Christianity, and Jesus spoke your ancient language.
48. You know you re Assyrian when you get pissed off around one of your friends and you accidentally say "ahoo..."
48. You get annoyed when someone you know eats something you cooked and they say, "Thank you" or "that was good" and you say "nahneelookh/akh" and don t realize they don t get it.
49. You have a relative whose first and last name are the same.
50. You re convinced your mom would win an [inter]national seed-eating contest. By a whole pile.
51. Your family/parents call all chocolate "Nestilah" after Nestle, the chocolate company.
52. Your family/parents call all detergent Tide.
53. You ve sworn [or insulted] one of your teachers in Assyrian. [Era gawakh! Khoosh messyil!] Then when they ask what you said, you made up something like "I said I like your shirt..." and smiled.
54. Your parents say something like "azik WILMART, itla sale khamshee percenta off!" (notice how they change english into assyrian by adding one letter..percent in english=percenta in assyrian)
55. Your mom asks you beyat/it BEPSI yan SIPRITE??
56. Your parents do the worst renditions of pop songs [girls, see any boy-band song.]
57. Your parents/family watch "dramas" like "Betan Khatah" where the main character is a compliation of this entire list.
58. You ve been to a wedding that looked like the one in "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" [hint: your family looked like the bride s side]
59. You know you re Assyrian when the smell of last night s cooking is infesting your bedroom.
60. everybody you knew in school had at least one other friend to speak their language with but you had nobody
61. When you mismatch your buttons on a sweater or coat, or you fall, or you do something clumsy, your mom or relatives will say "you ve fallen in love!"
62. When you re at someone s house [usually an American s] and your mom/grandma/aunt/all female relatives start kind of competing for whose dolma, biryani, etc. is better. AND you catch yourself slapping your forehead in embarrassment.
63. Your mom/grandma or one of your family members has told you [and probably continues to tell you] that if you sleep with socks it s bad for your eyes.
64. When you bite your lip or the inside of your mouth, you immediately think "Damn! Someone is talking crap about me!"
65. Your mom cant remember your name, so she replaces it with all relatives [same gender or not] as well as pet names. Its easier for them to go through the list of boys/girls and dogs name every time they call for you instead of remembering your name. [I swear, this is so true]
66. Your mother comments on how you ve become such a dirty Canadian/American.
67. Getting wedding videos from "back home" is always a big deal and your mom can still name everyone in the video even though they ve aged 20 years, but she can t remember your cell phone number.
68. Your parents watch hafla s on satellite on full blast....at 1 in the morning on a school night, and see nothing wrong with it. =)
69. The women in your family RACE to get gossip around; when they re not the first to announce a juicy bit of news, you can see the disappointment in their face.
70. you come home at 10 o clock and your parents say, "eketwa? its 1:00 o clock!" Their perception of time is 5 hours fast.
71. your mom has given you at least one bad hair cut when you were a kid. (and she wasn t even a hair dresser)
72. You snuck at least 10 relatives into amusement parks by using your one stamp to stamp on everyone else s hand [okay, i ve never done this but it sounds fun! lol]
73. Whenever you re in the car with your dad you always end up pulling up beside a random guy and your dad goes," HA CUZIN!"
74. there s always an extra doshek stashed in the closet in case relatives decide to sleep over without telling you before they arrive.
75. when you go to church, it s normal to stand for 4 hours straight and sit for only 5 minutes during the mass
76. Any of your relatives would ignore you, push you, or trample you to say hi to the Priest.
77. You follow your parents house rules even if you are over 18.
78. You live with your parents until and at times even after you re married.
79. Your house has a distinctive aroma.
80. You recycle shopping bags as garbage bags
81. You think a meal is not a meal without rice.
82. You feed all your visitors.
83. You always cook too much.
84. You hang a rosary on your car s rear view mirror.
85. You always leave your shoes or slippers outside the doorstep.
86. When you go to other peoples houses, you take off your shoes, even if they re American. It s just a habit.
87. Your grandma or w.e tells u not to whistle at night because it s "bad luck:
88. Your parents/grandparents tell you not to shower certain days [Wednesday and Friday] because Jesus was arrested and crucified on those days.
89. On Easter, you "battle/fight eggs" but if you try to explain it to non-Assyrians, you just come out sounding totally insane.
90. Assyrian timing is at least 3 hours ahead of everyone else. "Go to bed, it s already 11 o clock!" "Mom, it s 8:30..." "NO! It s 11! Yullah!"
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